Today was a very confusing day for me. It was near 12noon that I realized that it was Sunday, that I had missed Mass, and that I had forgotten about a dozen other important details of my weekend (including a baptism and piano lesson). Not only that but I spent the rest of the afternoon "catching up" that I forgot all about the Papal Mass to be aired on TV. Luckily, my DH called me to tell me all about it and I was able to catch the re-run on EWTN.
I don't usually speak much about my faith on this blog. I keep it to homeschooling and daily activities. My mentions of being Catholic are brief. I suppose because of my failure to put my feelings and thoughts about being Catholic into words. I was a late bloomer in my faith, even though I grew up Catholic. It was because of Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa that I found myself plunging into my faith like never before. I now have such a deep love for all the things that used to be just part of the background of my life. To talk of my faith, my love for God, my love for Jesus and Mary, my love for my Church....always brings me to tears.
I never feel like I could possibly say the right thing about being Catholic. I have often found myself praying to God about evangelizing to others, but have found that for now the answer is in how I choose to live and the examples I set in my day to day life. Although I feel that I have failed miserably in so many ways, I find solace in prayer. Lately, it has been St. Thomas More's prayer that has helped me in so many ways..."Give us, good Lord, the grace to work for the things we pray for."
Today as I watched our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, I realized how so much of my life has been spent in judging others and making assumptions. It has been 3 years since my beloved Pope John Paul II has passed away. I spent 3 years fighting against the current Pope in my heart. Why? I didn't LISTEN. Today as I heard him speak for the first time, my heart opened. He drifted away from being the stern fatherly figure I made him out to be and he became MY Pope!! The Pope I had prayed for but so blindly turned away. I feel like I came out of mourning for the first time only to realize that there was never a reason to mourn.
How foolish of me to not understand that God has placed the right person to be the Vicar of Christ. How blind of me not to see that with the passing of Pope John Paul II, as much as it affected me, there was a new hope and a new beginning. I have learned that as deep as my love for Christ is, I need to learn to trust Him more.
I urge everyone who wasn't able to keep up with the Pope's visit to the U.S., to take some time to catch up on all the wonderful events. EWTN has coverage from day 1 at their website. Open your hearts to the Vicar of Christ!!